


Be My Muse

by hchollym



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Based on Comics, Drawing, Implied Feelings, Lack of Awareness, M/M, Self-Denial, developing feelings, spidershield - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23456509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hchollym/pseuds/hchollym
Summary: When Peter encourages Steve to take up drawing again, the super-soldier realizes how much he's missed it. He doesn't realize why he keeps feeling so weird around Peter though.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Steve Rogers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	Be My Muse

**Author's Note:**

> I have a soft-spot for this pairing, because in the comics, Spider-Man has a huge, obvious hero-worship of Captain America. They actually have a very sweet friendship!
> 
> In this story, I picture Steve as being unaware of his own feelings, partially because male/male relationships were not done in his time, so it's not something that he even considers a possibility.
> 
> This story is based off these comics:  
> • comicnewbies.com/2015/08/01/captain-america-drew-comics-as-a-kid/  
> • comicnewbies.com/2018/03/08/spider-man-and-captain-america-drawing-comics/  
> • comicnewbies.com/2015/11/30/spider-man-tries-to-bond-with-captain-america/

Steve's not sure what it is about Peter Parker. He's overly talkative, lacks an awareness of normal social boundaries, and is a little too eager to be around Captain America sometimes, but Steve finds that he actually doesn't mind it. He almost finds it endearing, though he'd never admit it.

He’s walking through the Avengers Mansion, thinking about when Peter had linked his arm in Steve's when they teamed up on the mission. It had been so ridiculous, but the memory makes Steve smile. He hears Peter's voice before he sees him, picking up the words "character" and "Roger Stevens." He tenses, knowing that Peter has somehow gotten ahold of his old artwork.

He is standing in front of the webslinger in an instant, and Peter looks startled and a little nervous. Steve is standing so close that he can feel the heat radiating off Peter, and he knows that he should step back, but he can't seem to bring his feet to move. He doesn't give it a second thought, instead focusing on the issue at hand.

Peter seems so excited that an antique hunter is auctioning them off, but Steve doesn't want to think about days long past. Those weren't happy memories; just reminders of the sickly boy he used to be. He throws the article in the trash, trying to ignore the disappointed look on Peter's face that makes him feel guilty without really knowing why.

...

Peter bought his original drawings anyway, clearly not put off by Steve's lack of excitement. He keeps pushing Steve to draw again, and Steve isn't sure what to think of it. Why does Peter care about his art? Steve is Captain America now. He's a soldier who saves the world. _That_ is what people love about him. They certainly don't love him for the stupid hobby he had when he was a weak nobody.

The fact that Peter cares so much means he cares about Steve - the person; not the hero. The thought makes his stomach squirm and a warmth spread through his chest, though he can't fathom why. He's not comfortable with this new feeling, and wonders if perhaps he needs more rest.

Steve is quick to shoot down Peter's suggestion of taking up drawing again, reasoning that Peter understands what it's like to leave the past behind and move on. Peter looks so dejected, like someone kicked his puppy, and it sends a jolt of guilt through Steve’s chest. It seems so fundamentally _wrong_ for Peter to look that upset, especially because of something Steve did.

"It was a nice thou-" he starts, trying to cheer the other man up and get rid of his sad expression, but Peter cuts him off.

"I do though, you know...I do pull my first chemistry set out from time to time. Don't know why I lied about that," he says quietly and leaves the room. Steve doesn't understand why he feels like he's been hit in the chest with a baseball bat.

The whole situation plagues him throughout the night, running over and over again in his mind and robbing him of any peaceful sleep. It _was_ nice of Peter to care about something other than Steve's Captain America qualities. The younger man was just trying to get Steve to revisit something he used to enjoy, and Steve had been a jerk about it. He feels ashamed, and he resolves to fix it as soon as possible.

He swallows his pride, apologizing in a roundabout way, but Peter is too nice to call him out on it. The webslinger easily forgives him, and Steve is grateful for his unending kindness. They bounce ideas off each other about their hero drawing, and Steve realizes that he is truly enjoying himself. He doesn't have to be strong or stoic; he can relax and just focus on the way his pencil glides across the page. It's coming back to him, and he's actually glad that he gave this a chance.

Peter is sitting close to him and genuinely taking an interest in their cartoon, and it feels nice. Their arms keep brushing against one another, and Steve is starting to feel warm all over again. He wonders whether he could possibly be getting sick. He never gets sick - not since the serum - but he doesn't know what else could be causing this reaction in him. He looks over at Peter and the other man grins, eyes sparkling and smile wide. Steve's stomach flips, and he decides it's because he needs more rest.

...

Later that night, Steve lets the art flow through him, not focusing particularly hard on what he is drawing, but simply enjoying the feeling. When the finished piece ends up looking like Peter, he reasons it's because Peter helped him discover his passion for drawing again. He folds the picture up and places it inside his bedside table. Perhaps he should throw it away, but he likes it. It captures Peter's energy and eagerness, the excited sparkle in his eyes, and his kind yet cheeky grin. If Steve's being honest, out of everything he's ever drawn, this is his favorite piece.

He tries to draw a few of the other Avengers, but they just aren't coming out right. He can't picture them well enough in his mind, and he ends up with a stack of crumpled papers spilling over in his trashcan. He sighs, not sure why the only teammate he can draw decently is Peter.

It just feels like Peter is so easy to draw. The webslinger's face is so expressive, his small yet strong body defined clearly by his spider suit. The image seems to be embedded permanently into Steve's brain. Maybe that means Peter should be an art model in his spare time. The thought makes Steve frown, his stomach squirming uncomfortably at the thought of other people using Peter as their inspiration, though he doesn't understand why.

Steve pushes the thought from his head, focusing on the paper and pencil in his hands. An image flashes across his mind of Peter when he's working in the lab: hair tousled from running his hands through it over and over again, eyes bright and determined, his face flushed from excitement whenever something works the way he wants it to. Steve feels his stomach flip again, but he ignores it and begins to draw.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day <3


End file.
